I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The Olympian is in my bed
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
