im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
