Non-Jews are for practice
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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