Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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