Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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