I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
