You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
