fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
