I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
