I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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