I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
