I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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