Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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