So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
