my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
