just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
