I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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