Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
