Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
