Tell her she can't have a vagina
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
