I'm really into asian looking animals
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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