And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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