with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
