He asked to "fluff my boner.."
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
