what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
