Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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