saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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