Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
