I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
