just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Well I just put wine in my tea
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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