I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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