we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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