Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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