Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
