it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Even my vagina gasped.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
