And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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