Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
