there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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