i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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