where am i from again
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
