Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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