IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
