I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My bed smells like the plague
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
