ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
