Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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