the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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