Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
