Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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