I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
