I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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