Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
