i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
