fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
