shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
